Are You Emotionally Available for New Friendships?

Let’s be honest—making new friends as an adult can feel... complicated. Add expat life to the mix, and it becomes a whole different game. One minute you’re building strong connections, and the next? They’re packing up and moving to another country.

So if you’ve been feeling a little distant, hesitant, or just over it when it comes to starting new friendships, you’re not alone. But here’s something worth reflecting on: What if it’s not that everyone else is flaky or hard to connect with… what if you’re just not emotionally available right now?

1. What Emotional Availability Actually Means (Outside of Dating)

When we hear the phrase "emotionally available," we often think of romantic relationships. But the truth is, it matters just as much in friendships.

Being emotionally available means:

• You’re open to letting new people in.
• You have the capacity to offer time, presence, and care.
• You’re willing to share parts of yourself—even the messy, vulnerable bits.

But when we’re emotionally unavailable, we might:

• Keep people at a distance without realizing it.
• Say we want new friends but avoid taking the first step.
• Feel annoyed or drained even when socializing.

And that’s okay. Sometimes we’re in self-protection mode… and that’s human.

2. Why Expat Life Makes It Extra Tricky

Living abroad is exciting and full of adventure, but it can also be emotionally exhausting.

• You say goodbye a lot.
• You build friendships that feel like family—then watch them leave.
• You become hyper-aware of how temporary things can feel.

It’s no wonder some of us start holding back. Protecting your heart can feel safer than risking another round of goodbye.

But over time, that protection can also keep you from experiencing the deep, soul-filling friendships you do crave.

3. Small Ways to Gently Reopen the Door

If you’re not ready to dive in headfirst, that’s okay. Emotional availability doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Here are a few ways to start slowly:

• Say yes to one invite this month—even if it feels easier to stay home.
• Reach out to someone you already like but haven’t spent much time with.
• Let someone get to know you beyond small talk—just a little bit.
• Show up for yourself first—sometimes the best way to feel open to others is by tending to your own emotional needs.

Communities like Coffee With An Expat exist for this very reason—to give you safe, supportive spaces where friendship can grow naturally, without pressure.

Whether it’s a coffee morning, a wellness session, or a group chat that makes you feel seen, these small moments add up. 

If friendships feel hard right now, that’s okay. You’re not broken or bad at connecting—you might just be in a season of emotional self-preservation.

But when you’re ready, friendship will be there. The right people, the safe spaces, the quiet moments of connection—they’re all waiting for you.

And if you’re ready to slowly step back in, we’re right here with you.

Join our community at Coffee With An Expat to connect with like-minded women who’ve been through the journey! 💛

[Click here to be part of our community!]