The Expat Friendship Cycle: Why People Come and Go (and How to Cope)

Feb 20, 2025

If you’ve been an expat for a while, you’ve probably experienced it—the joy of making new friends, followed by the bittersweet reality of saying goodbye. Expat friendships are special, intense, and, more often than not, temporary. In a city like Dubai, where people come and go for work, adventure, or a fresh start, the friendship cycle can feel like a never-ending loop.

So how do you handle it? How do you invest in meaningful connections while knowing that goodbyes are inevitable? Let’s dive into the expat friendship cycle—why it happens, why it hurts, and how to make the most of the time you have with the people who come into your life.

Why Friendships in Expat Life Feel Different

Friendships abroad tend to form faster and feel deeper than those back home. Why? Because when you’re in a foreign country, your friends become your family. You rely on each other in ways you might not in your home country—whether it’s navigating new cultures, handling unexpected challenges, or simply sharing experiences that only fellow expats understand.

But that also means these friendships can feel fragile. One day, you have a close-knit circle, and the next, people are leaving for new jobs, new countries, or returning home.

The Expat Friendship Cycle

If you’ve lived in an expat-heavy city long enough, you’ll notice a pattern:

The Excitement Stage – You’ve just arrived (or someone new has), and friendships spark instantly. You bond over shared experiences, new adventures, and mutual excitement about living abroad.
The Comfort Stage – You’ve found your people, and life feels full. You have your go-to friends for coffee, dinners, weekend trips, and last-minute plans. Life is good.
The Goodbye Stage – Someone’s leaving. Maybe it’s a slow fade-out as they prepare to go, or maybe it’s a sudden announcement. Either way, goodbyes happen, and they hurt.
The Reset Stage – You feel the gap left behind, but eventually, you open up to meeting new people again. The cycle repeats.

Sound familiar?

How to Cope with the Constant Goodbyes

Saying goodbye over and over again is one of the hardest parts of expat life, but here are a few ways to manage it:

Accept that goodbyes are part of the deal. It doesn’t mean the friendships weren’t real. It just means they were meaningful for the time you had together.
Celebrate the moments, not the timeline. A short-lived friendship doesn’t mean it wasn’t valuable. Some of the best connections are those that leave a lasting impact, even if they were brief.
Stay open to new connections. Every goodbye makes room for new friendships. Be open to meeting new people, even when it feels exhausting.
Maintain long-distance friendships—if they matter to you. Not all friendships need to end just because someone leaves. Video calls, voice notes, and visits keep connections alive.
Find a solid core of long-term friends. While some friendships will be transient, try to build connections with people who have been in the city longer or plan to stay.

Final Thoughts: Making Peace with the Cycle

The transient nature of expat friendships can be tough, but it’s also what makes them so special. The friendships you build abroad are intense, full of adventure, and deeply meaningful, even if they don’t last forever. Instead of focusing on the inevitability of goodbyes, focus on the incredible experiences, laughter, and support that these friendships bring.

So, next time someone leaves, allow yourself to feel sad—but also grateful. Because in the end, it’s not about how long a friendship lasts, but how much joy, support, and connection it brings to your life while it’s there.

Looking for a supportive community that gets it?

Join Coffee With An Expat, where friendships are formed, stories are shared, and no one feels alone in this journey.